Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Movin' on Up

We've been busy these past couple of weeks. First, very, very busy at work. Because we like to keep things spicy around here, Jared also took a position at a new company after being unexpectedly recruited. It was definitely the right decision for us, though. Funny how those things work. Some other news:

36 weeks! I hit 36 weeks this past Saturday, a point we never expected to see in this pregnancy! Praise God--it is a blessing to have made it to this point with no further pregnancy drama (well other than a host of new-to-me pregnancy symptoms such as sciatica, swelling, heartburn...). I'm pretty certain we will go right up until my scheduled c-section date after all the premature birth fears. As much as I am not enjoying the aforementioned by-products of pregnancy, I am not eager to have this pregnancy end. Probably in part because of how much stuff we have going on but mostly because I am aware this may be my last pregnancy and I know how much I will probably miss this just me and baby time. My absolute terror over the idea of this c-section (my first) probably also keeps me from getting to anxious about expelling this baby.


Kids: The kids are beyond excited to have a new brother to join them. Jack, even at 19 months when Charlie was born, was such a sweet, loving big brother. My guess is that Charlie will be a little scrappier than Jack insofar as his baby brother is concerned but Jack still has that same sweetness. He kisses my belly every morning and evening. I have no doubt he will be as gentle and loving as he was at 19 months. Probably even more so.

Charlie has been doing well on the TPN--he is gaining weight, which is an incredible thing to see. He has a lot more energy and, well, feisty-ness. We are adjusting to the TPN and hit our first hiccup today. Unfortunately, due to an error by our infusion company, we have to have his line replaced tomorrow. As much as the situation distresses me, we are lucky that nothing terrible happened (infection, etc.) as a result.

As brothers, these boys have been a hot mess lately. They are the closest of friends (with some squabbles mixed in) and have recently been getting into what seems to be a Sunday tradition of mischief. First it was a big mess in their bathroom, then it was a big mess in Charlie's hair (as a good friend reminded me, at least it didn't involve scissors). Here is a picture of some of their mischief (note the little boy hiding behind the toilet, knowing he is in trouble...):


New house!
We still own our house in Eugene and so we rent up here. Our lease is up at the end of May and we knew there was a possibility of the owner finding a job in the area and moving back. He did (which is great for he and his wife!) and so we have to move in May--just a month after having the baby. This has been stressing me out, especially because we didn't think we could really start looking for a place until April. Well, Jared had his eye on this one listing and 3 weeks ago, called on it even though we assumed no one would want to hold a rental for us until mid-May. The house was awesome, is in the neighborhood we would want to buy in and could possibly become a house we own in the future. The stars aligned and the owner was willing to hold it for us. So...we are excited for this new house (and long lease--no more moving for a while!). Less excited about moving. But...it will work out.

May...well, May is going to be a very, very busy month. The baby is coming on or before April 9. We then have less than a month until I have to travel with Charlie and a newborn back to Cincinnati (while recovering from my first c-section) for a fun-filled week of invasive procedures. I am so hoping we get some answers and/or direction for Charlie out of this trip. We get back and 4 days later move to the new house. Woo-wee, it will be a crazy month. I'm just trying not to think too much about it.

That's about it going on around here (not that I really need anything more). As crazy and full as our lives are right now, it is not lost on me that we have had A LOT of prayers answered over the past couple of months. I read this quote recently and it really spoke to me:

"Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself "How did I get through all of that?"

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

TPN

Two weeks ago, we checked Charlie into the hospital to embark on our newest feeding adventure: TPN (total parenteral nutrition). This was the most difficult decision we have come to for him and one that is still causing me great anxiety. I did not anticipate the level of anxiety I would continue to have even after we learned the ins and outs and came home.

TPN is IV nutrition. Charlie is still receiving feeds through his jejunostomy tube but he is getting fed through an IV at night for supplementation. He wasn't getting enough calories through his j-tube and he when he was sick, it set him so far back that we were never able to make any progress and his nutritional status was suffering because of it (not to mention skin breakdown and pure misery for weeks surrounding any illness). TPN involves a central line. This can be placed in the chest or the arm but both go to the heart, versus a regular IV which is just in a vein. Charlie got a PICC line (in his arm) until we figure out whether this is going to be a long term solution or just a bridge. The primary risks with TPN are liver damage and, more importantly, sepsis and infection. Hence, my intense anxiety and paranoia surrounding this decision. Because the line is a direct connection to his heart, it must stay completely clean and dry. He has a dressing covering the site at all times, which is changed by a nurse once a week. We have to take a lot of precautions (forget living the "natural" life, we are now a household of alcohol swabs, Clorox wipes, and hand sanitizer) to ensure that we prepare his TPN bag in a sterile environment and fashion and minimize contamination when we hook up the IV at night. I've never been so paranoid about sterilization and hand sanitizing as I am now (I was never a mother who cleaned pacifiers after every fall on the floor). He gets labs taken every week and they monitor the formulation of the TPN carefully. This has certainly turned us upside down. One of us has to be here every night to prepare the TPN and hook him up, he can't be left with anyone other than us or a nurse (when TPN is running), fevers take on a whole new dimension, and we have to do all of this at a pretty specific time of night. So...basically, we are going to have to get creative with date nights at home. We are adjusting to our new normal and trying to take his cues instead of falling prey to our own insecurities and fears (one thing I've learned from parenting complex children is that we parents project a lot of our own issues on our kids...kids are a lot more resilient than adults)--Charlie seems completely unbothered by this turn of events.

The good news? In 2 weeks, he has gained nearly 3 pounds! This is a major accomplishment for a guy who hadn't gained anything in 8 months.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Before I was a Parent...

Here is a short list of things I was never going let my kids do. No comment on how many (or all) of these happen in our house now that we actually have kids:

1. Watch TV, except maybe Sesame Street

2. Eat snacks before dinner

3. Co-sleep

4. Eat sugar cereal

5. Stay up past 8 pm

6. Have a DVD player in the car

7. Eat snacks in the car

8. Drink juice

9. Wear character-themed clothing

I used to be a super great parent. Then I had kids.